Little Talks
by Keitorin Asthore
Summary: Valka went looking for the Night Fury that escaped the dragons' nest, and ended up finding her son instead. An AU where Hiccup finds his mother during the events of the first movie, and things change just a bit.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: How to Train Your Dragon belongs to Dreamworks, not me.

* * *

In all that happened, she blamed the Night Fury.

She wasn't even supposed to have a Night Fury. They were rarely seen, and when she did spot them they traveled in small tight knit pods, sticking with their own kind. But in her third year in the dragons' nest, she found a lost hatchling, about two years old (_the same age as your own baby,_ a traitorous voice said in the back of her head), that had been separated from his pod. He was smaller than most Night Furies she'd seen- most likely he'd been the runt of the litter and left behind. He was a stubborn thing, though, and despite his small stature he grew up strong and thriving, and eventually reached a decent size. She tried to name him, but unlike the other dragons, he didn't seem to respond. The other dragons learned their names, and Cloudjumper would alight at her side if she so much whispered, but the Night Fury never heeded her, no matter what she called him. Eventually she gave up, and let him be.

It was nearly her fifteenth year in the nest when the Night Fury went missing.

It wasn't uncommon for him to wander off for days at a time. She suspected he was looking for his pack; he always came back with his tail drooping and he wouldn't eat for a few days after.

This time, though, he didn't return after a few days. Or weeks. And when a month passed, she took Cloudjumper and went in search of him.

She hadn't gone this from the nest since she had been taken. It was both terrifying and liberating, to fly free over unfamiliar lands and seas. At night she slept in small caves and hollows, avoiding any of the villages that might be nearby.

She found the Night Fury on her second week, downed in a cove. "There you are!" she called in relief as she slid from Cloudjumper's back onto solid ground. "Where have you been, you foolish boy?"

The Night Fury warbled in a happy reply and bounded over the grass to her. She flung her arms around his neck. "What's kept you?" she asked. "It's not like you to be gone this long."

He huffed a warm breath on her cheek, twisting around her, and she spotted the ragged edge of his tail. "Oh, my poor love," she murmured, her mind already racing. No wonder he hadn't come back. And how was she supposed to get him back to the nest if he couldn't fly?

"Toothless!"

She froze.

"Where are you?"

It was a boy's voice, still young and cracking on the edges. Valka took a step back, tugging at the dragon's neck.

"Come on, bud, come back here."

Valka tried to pull at the Night Fury's neck. "Let's go," she whispered, but he snorted and tugged back at her. "We can't be seen."

A boy climbed over the ridge and skidded down the rocky side into the cove. He was young, maybe thirteen or fourteen, with tousled brown hair. Valka held her breath, her arms still tight around the dragon's neck. She knew full well that Viking children were just as fierce as their adult counterparts. No telling what this boy could do.

But he didn't hold any kind of weapon, just an armful of metal rods and thin leather bundled up in his arms like an unwieldy baby. "I built a new prototype," he said cheerfully. "C'mere, Toothless, let me try it out."

The Night Fury broke out of Valka's grip, bounding over to the boy, and she stared in disbelief. She'd spent years trying out names like Sparkstrike and Skyflint only to be ignored, and now he answers to something as childish as _Toothless_.

She was so shocked, in fact, that she forgot to hide.

"This one's a little lighter than the last model, so hopefully it'll-" The boy's voice trailed off and he took a sharp step back. "There's a person. Oh, there's a person."

Valka stood rooted to the ground. The boy darted forward in front of the dragon. "Please, don't hurt Toothless," he begged. "I know that Vikings kill on sight, I know, and yes, he's a Night Fury, but please, _please _don't…" His voice trailed off. "You're not from Berk."

Her voice died in her throat; she swallowed hard and tried again. "No," she rasped. "Are...are you?"

"Uh-huh," he said warily. The Night Fury- _Toothless-_ nipped lovingly at the boy's shoulder. He scrunched up his face at the soft bite, and the way his mouth buttoned up looked so startlingly familiar that Valka took a step forward.

"You're from Berk," she repeated. The boy nodded slowly, eyes wide. They were green- a bright warm green, fringed with short thick lashes. Freckles dotted his nose and cheeks. There was a small gap in his front teeth.

"Who are you?" he asked.

She saw the scar on his chin- a thin white line, nondescript and easy to miss. But she saw it. And she remembered.

"Hiccup," she breathed.

He scrambled back, clutching his homemade prosthetic tail tighter to his skinny chest. "No, no, no," he said. "Uh, how do you know my name?" Toothless yelped, pushing at his elbow, and he pushed back with his eyes still glued to Valka's face. "Who are you?"

She wanted to run, but she couldn't move. He was still staring at her and she realized in a daze that he deserved an answer. "You don't know me," she whispered.

"Yeah, I know, but clearly you know me, and it's kind of freaking me out," he said. "Have we met before?"

"No," she said. "Yes. Sort of."

"We've sort of met?" he repeated. "How...I don't understand."

With every word, every gesture, every expression, a memory came flooding back. Rocking her baby to sleep, sitting up late at night when he was fussing with a fever, nursing him in the stillness of the early morning, cradling him in her lap while his father made him shriek with laughter.

"You don't remember me," she whispered, and it hurt more than she expected to say those words aloud. "But...a mother never forgets."

All the color drained from Hiccup's face. He stumbled back, his armful of leather and metal falling to the ground with a clank. "You're not...are you really…" he stammered. The backs of his legs smacked into a large rock and he sank down in shock. "You're dead."

"No," she said. "No, I'm...I'm not dead. Wasn't dead."

"But you left," Hiccup said. "You left, and I-"

His eyes were so bright. Valka couldn't move.

"I have questions!" he blurted out. "Where did you go? What have you been doing for fifteen years? Why...why didn't you come home?"

Hiccup huddled on the rock, his hands balled into fists as he looked her square in the eye. "Hiccup, I-" she started to say.

"Why?" he interrupted. "Why, Mom?"

It would have been easier to bear if someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. She dropped her spear at her side and approached Hiccup carefully, like she would a spooked dragon. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I am so sorry, Hiccup." He met her gaze, his chin lifted but his mouth trembling. She knelt down in front of him and held out her hands, palms open and her fingers softly curled. "I had my reasons, but...oh, love, I'm so sorry."

Hiccup inhaled deeply, his mouth tugging tight. She held her breath, terrified of what he might do next.

He blinked slowly, like he was waking up from a long dream, and reached for her hands. He touched her wrists gingerly, drawing her palms closer until she was cupping his cheeks, and then he looked at her. Really looked at her. Without meaning to she smoothed the pads of her thumbs along the curve of his cheeks, still babyishly round.

Suddenly he hurtled towards her and Valka found herself with a lapful of gawky teenager.

She froze. It had been fifteen years since she'd held her baby, and this wasn't an infant, nor was it one of her little hatchlings. What was she supposed to do? How were her arms supposed to bend? Should she even try to touch him?

Hiccup's thin arms clutched tightly around her neck. "Mom," he whimpered into the crook of her shoulder, and Valka found herself pulling him closer without knowing exactly what she was doing.

She sat back on the grass, her arms wrapped around him tightly. Her heartbeat raced, pulsing in her throat. Hiccup huddled in her embrace, a strange soft warm weight, and his arms kept a death grip around her neck till she could barely breathe. "My baby," she whispered into his soft hair. "My baby, my baby."

She cupped a hand under his neck, marveling at the fact that he was flesh and blood and _here_. So many nights she had held her baby in her arms, counting every rise and fall of his tiny chest and praying he would survive the night, the week, the winter. Now here he was, small for his age and gangly and skinny, but _here_.

Hiccup suddenly yanked himself back, leaning away at arms' length. "Where have you been?" he demanded. She hadn't heard crying but his eyes were wet.

"With dragons," she confessed. Now that she had him she couldn't bear to let go; her hands curved around his upper arms.

"The same dragons that killed you?" he said. He shook his head. "Well, I guess they didn't kill you. But kidnapped you?" He screwed up his face in confusion. "They kidnapped you but didn't kill you?"

She nodded, sitting a little more comfortably and tucking her legs underneath her. Hiccup scooted closer to her side. "You were six months old," she said. "Just a wee thing, asleep in your cradle. It was the middle of a raid, and I saw a dragon breaking into the house. I panicked when I saw him standing over you, but...he was just curious." She glanced away and smiled at the grass, remembering. "You woke up and started cooing and laughing. But he scratched you, and you started crying, and your father ran in and started shouting. And I think...Cloudjumper thought I was being threatened, and when he took me he meant to save me."

"Cloudjumper?" Hiccup repeated. He sat close enough to lean his elbows on her bent knee.

"My dragon," she said. "A Stormcutter." She chucked Hiccup gently under the chin. "But I see you found yourself a Night Fury. Clever boy."

He blushed red at the praise. "Well, it wasn't so much found as...shot down and accidentally maimed," he confessed.

Valka frowned. "What did you do?" she asked.

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck. "It was an accident!" he said. "I wanted to prove I was a real Viking, and I thought the best way I could do it was by killing a dragon, so I made this bola slingshot thing, and it _worked, _Mom, it really worked, but I...I ended up hurting Toothless."

He hung his head at that, his narrow shoulders slumping, and Toothless padded up behind him, nudging at his cheek. Hiccup sort of smiled at that, scratching him lightly behind a neck ridge. "At least he doesn't seem to hold a grudge," he said.

"He's never been the type," Valka agreed. "I've watched this one grow up. He has the most honorable heart I've seen in a dragon."

Hiccup tilted his head. "You raised him?" he asked.

Valka smoothed her hand over the top of Toothless's head. "I did," she said. "He's the same age as you, you know. It made me think of you."

Hiccup sidled closer. "Really?" he said.

She slid her fingertip over the scar on his chin. "Really," she said.

Hiccup smiled, but his face fell in solemn lines. "So that's how I got that scar?" he said. "I never remembered, and Dad always changed the subject when I asked."

She cupped his cheeks in her hands and pressed a soft kiss like a prayer over the narrow white line. Hiccup closed his eyes. "It's going to be dark soon," she said. "You ought to go home. Your father...will be wondering where you are."

"Oh, no, he kind of lets me wander wherever," Hiccup said. "Besides, he's out on a recon mission, looking for the dragons' nest."

He seemed so unfazed, but Valka felt her chest clench. Stoick should be home. Stoick should be worrying about Hiccup. Stoick should be everything she never was.

"I mean, it's not like he doesn't care or anything," Hiccup said, as if he heard her thoughts. "He cares, in his own...gruff and manly Viking way." He grinned, puffing out his chest and flexing his thin arms. "Hiccup, pay attention! Hiccup, you'll never learn how to be a good Viking chief if you can't sit still! Hiccup, stop drawing on that!"

It was such a perfect mimic of the Stoick she remembered, that deep voice and that strong bluster, that she burst out in a throaty, rusty laugh. "Oh, you dear thing," she said. "You sound just like your father."

Hiccup's whole face brightened like a small sun. "Mom," he said. "Will you come home now?"

She faltered. "I...I don't know," she said, and she hated herself for the way the light dimmed in his eyes. "I've been gone so long. My place isn't in Berk, my place is with my dragons."

"Yeah, but you can bring your dragons!" Hiccup said. "If I've learned anything from Toothless, it's that dragons and Vikings aren't meant to fight. We can change things, Mom! And you probably know a whole lot more than I do. And Dad will listen to you. He will. All of Berk will. We can make everything-"

"Hiccup," she interrupted, tugging on his hands. His fingers were long and slim, a sign of how tall he would eventually grow when the rest of his body caught up. "Hiccup, my love, it's not that simple."

"Why?" he asked. "Why is it not that simple?"

His eyes shone with that bright surety that only a child could manage. She finally reached out to stroke his hair; it felt sun-warm and silky. She wondered what his first words had been, how old he was when he took his first steps, what foods he liked and what he was afraid of and what he hoped to become. She wondered what Stoick would say if she came back, and what he would say if she came back with a flock of dragons in tow. She wondered what he would say when he found out she stayed with the dragons who took her rather than returning to her family.

She wondered what Hiccup would say if she told him she spent fifteen years imagining him as a young Stoick, killing her dragons without mercy.

"Because I'm your mother and I say so," she said at last. Hiccup snorted and rolled his eyes, breaking the moment, and she forced herself to smile. "Really, love, it's getting dark. You should get home."

"But I was going to try out the new tailfin for Toothless," Hiccup protested. "See? I built it." He hastily unrolled the leather wing for her to see. "I've gone through a couple different models, especially after the first one was shredded, but it's working."

"It's clever," Valka said and really, it was. "You're a clever boy, Hiccup."

His ears turned pink. She wondered how often he heard praise like that. "I mean, it's not that fancy," he said, shrugging as he looked down at his handiwork. "It's mostly trying to get the proportions right. But Toothless seems to like it, right, bud?" The dragon yelped and bounded around, his half-tail bouncing lightly behind him, and Hiccup laughed.

"Have you taken him flying?" Valka asked.

"Yeah," Hiccup said. "I never imagined that flying could be that amazing. But it is."

Valka felt a sudden burst of pride. "My son, the dragon rider," she said, squeezing his shoulders.

"Yeah," Hiccup said, flashing a lopsided smile. "I'm a dragon rider."

She stood up, pulled him to his feet, and then turned him around towards the ridge of the cove. "Now go home, little one," she scolded, swatting him lightly on the behind.

"Ow," he complained, but he was grinning. "Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Most likely," she said. "I came here to bring back my Night Fury...but it seems like he's yours now. I'm not entirely sure where to go from here."

Hiccup faltered. "You can always come back to Berk," he offered again.

She kissed his forehead. "Go home," she repeated.

"Okay," he whispered.

He said his goodbyes to Toothless, scratching him under the chin, and gathered up his prosthetic tailfin. Valka watched him, hungry for every move and expression and gesture.

"Bye, Mom," he said.

"Goodbye, lovey," she said, and she watched him climb over the ridge. He paused at the top to wave, already small and distant, and she waved back, knowing full well that he was taking her heart with him.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Well, hello, everyone!

It's been a terribly long time, I know. And this isn't even my usual fandom.

Well, to sum things up, just as my life was settling down last year...a new wrench got thrown into the mix and I still haven't properly recovered. I've chosen not to get into it at the moment, but suffice to say what was supposed to be a joyful year of new beginnings turned into me being a secretly sobbing wreck. Things are better, and I'm stronger than I thought, but I'm still not 100% there.

But at least I'm able to write again.

I've loved HTTYD since it came out (ask me about the cake I made) and recently saw HTTYD 2, which pretty much killed me. Like I was laugh-sobbing through it. And sparked me into writing things. And not only this; I've started working on Rise of the Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons stuff. So that's happening.

So please! If you liked this, please let me know. And there's two more parts to this, so follow if you'd like to see the rest! But I'm super rusty on writing, so any encouragement is super super appreciated. And I'm on the tumblr; I recently switched over to a new blog at themetaphorgirl, although my hellogidgett and redbullandcupcakebatter tumblrs are still up and running. I'm always looking for new friends, so come on over and introduce yourself!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: How to Train Your Dragon belongs to Dreamworks, not me.

* * *

She didn't realize she was screaming.

The sound reverberated inside her helmet, harsh and ringing, and her ears ached sharply. But all she could see was the heaviness of dark gray smoke, flames licking at the edges, and the shadow of a dragon darting through, flickering with every flash of lightning.

She could see the small figure on the dragon's back.

She told him not to do this. She told him not to interfere. She told him this was just the way things were meant to be, that dragons followed their own rules and Vikings theirs. He yelled right back, begging her to reconsider, to help, to listen.

If she was a good mother, maybe she would have listened. She would have known how to talk to him. But she wasn't, and she didn't, and she told him not to do it, not to be so foolish, and he left. He left angry and hurt, ignoring her calls.

She stayed in the cove for a long time after that, stalking back and forth, replaying every word of the argument in her mind. Her thoughts tumbled, circling from _he doesn't know the first thing about dragons _to _dear gods, what will Stoick do? _to _you're not a part of this, just stay out of this_ before settling on _if you were actually a good mother, none of this would have happened._

It was that final thought that pushed her to mount Cloudjumper and fly towards the nest.

She'd spent the past few weeks living in the cove, keeping a close eye on Toothless and getting to know her son. Hiccup came every day, scrambling over the edge of the ridge with a cheerful "hi, Mom!" and a wave so enthusiastic she sometimes feared he was going to knock himself over. Enthusiasm seemed to be the key word with her son; he didn't do anything halfway and jabbered a mile a minute about anything and everything. She mostly kept quiet, nodding and smiling to let him know she was listening, and wishing there was a way she could tell him how much she loved listening to him talk.

The only thing she hated was his last question. He asked the same thing every night before he left, and no matter how she braced herself it still hurt to answer.

"Mom, can you come home now?"

And every night she kissed his cheek and told him no.

She wasn't ready. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready. She didn't know how she could see all those strangers who had once been friends, or walk through the unfamiliar house that used to be her own, or meet the husband she'd left behind. And what was she supposed to do about her dragons?

Only the thought of her son getting himself into trouble could motivate her into leaving. She was still angry, but she was worried. It was an unfamiliar feeling, thick and suffocating in her chest. She would just linger on the outskirts, long enough to make sure he was all right. That was all.

But she saw the massive dragon falling, and the tiny figure spiraling out of control towards the unforgiving earth, and all she could do was scream.

The ground shook beneath her as the Red Death fell. Cloudjumper bucked, shaking his heavy head, and Valka slid from his side. Her breaths came in sharp audible keening sobs and she stumbled as she reached the rocky shore.

Black ash fell like snow, thick as the silence. She pushed past the Vikings huddled on the shoreline, her heart thudding in her chest, but she skidded to a stop in shock.

Her husband walked out of the smoke.

Stoick was the same but different than she remembered- still tall and broad-shouldered and powerfully muscled, but his heavy beard was shot faintly here and there with the slightest strands of silver. He strode over the rocks, searching desperately. "Hiccup!" he bellowed. "Hiccup."

There was no answer. Valka stood still, the sound of her breaths rocketing inside her helmet. "Son!" Stoick roared.

She heard a soft whickering noise and whipped around to face it. Toothless was curled up on the ground, his eyes half-closed, but he raised his head as Stoick ran towards him. Valka followed, running closer to him than she should, hoping against hope that Hiccup was with him.

But the saddle was empty. Her son was gone.

Stoick sank down to his knees. "Oh, son," he breathed. "I did this."

_No, you didn't, _Valka wanted to scream. _I did. This is all my fault. _

Toothless blinked slowly, still dazed from his long fall. Stoick bowed his head. "I'm so sorry, son," Valka heard him whisper.

Toothless blinked again, then slowly lifted his wings. Clutched in his grip was a small limp figure.

Her son.

"Hiccup!" Stoick said, darting forward with alarming speed and pulling Hiccup's limp form out of Toothless's clutch. His eyes were closed and his mouth pale and slack. Stoick held him close, smoothing his hair out of his eyes and studying his face anxiously.

Valka ripped off her helmet and let it fall to the ground. Cold air bit at her exposed skin and she held her breath, waiting.

_There's a body, _she consoled herself. _You have his body, he can have a proper funeral at least._

Stoick threw his helmet to the side and pressed his ear to Hiccup's narrow chest. Valka covered her mouth with her hands. An eternity passed.

"He's alive," Stoick shouted in a half-broken laugh. He turned to Toothless in awe. "You brought him back alive."

Valka bowed her head, covering her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook with one heavy relieved sob before she could still herself, letting the words settle around her. _He's alive. Hiccup's alive._

Stoick reached out and gently placed a massive palm along the side of Toothless's head. "Thank you," he said, quiet and sincere. "For saving my son."

Valka took a step towards him, one hand half outstretched, and her boots slid sharply on the rocks. Stoick turned to the noise.

She froze. He stared at her as if he was seeing a ghost- which, she supposed, was true for him.

"I know what you're going to say, Stoick," she stammered, backing away from him. "How could I have done this? Stay away all these years and why didn't I come back to you? To our son?"

She couldn't look at Stoick, she couldn't look at her son. _Angry, be angry, _she thought.

"Well, what sign did I have that you could change, Stoick?" she demanded. "That anyone could? I pleaded so many times to stop the fighting and to find another answer, but did any of you listen?" I know that I left you to raise Hiccup alone, but I thought he'd be better off without me." She hesitated. "And...I was wrong. I see that now."

Stoick just looked at her, his expression unreadable. Valka gritted her teeth in frustration. "Oh, stop being so stoic, Stoick!" she snapped. "Go on! Shout! Scream! Say something!"

Stoick held out a hand. "Valka," he said, his eyes soft and his voice gentle. "You're as beautiful as the day I lost you."

She sank down beside him, her hand falling into his and his fingers twining through hers. "Stoick, I'm so sorry," she whispered. He squeezed her hand tightly; her fingers disappeared in his grip, as comfortable and warm and safe as she remembered.

"There's so much I've got to ask you," Stoick said. "But...we've got to get Hiccup back." He glanced behind him. "We've got to get everyone back."

"Let me take care of him," Valka begged. "Please, Stoick."

He let go of her hand and laid Hiccup carefully on the ground. "Watch his leg, he's bleeding bad," Stoick warned. He kissed her on the forehead and pushed himself up. "I'll be right back. Guard him."

"I will," she promised. "I will, Stoick."

She turned her attention back to Hiccup, brushing at her damp eyes with her forearm. "It's all right, sweetheart," she said to him, pushing his hair back away from his forehead. "I'm here now."

She finally looked down at his left leg and started in horror. "Oh, gods," she said. She pressed down on the artery in the back of his knee, trying to take stock of the damage before her panic overtook.

The teeth marks were deep, making dark punctures in his thin leg and seeping blood. His shinbone was shattered, fragments poking sharply through the skin. "He caught you in his teeth," Valka said to herself. "He saved you, though. That's all that matters."

"Saved him at the cost of his leg."

Valka glanced over her shoulder. "Gobber?" she said in surprise.

Her husband's best friend knelt down and started wrapping a splint around Hiccup's damaged leg. "The same," he said. "Hold him steady for me, Valka? We don't want him waking up and moving around."

Valka shifted and rested her hand against Hiccup's chest. She could feel his heartbeat, thready and erratic but still there. "Are you sure he'll lose his leg?" she asked, even though she knew the answer already.

"There's no chance of putting him back together. It'll be for the best," Gobber said, tying down the bandages of the splint. "We'll keep him steady till we get back to Berk and can take care of him properly." He grinned at her. "Besides, there are worse things that can happen, am I right?"

"Right," she echoed.

Gobber squeezed her shoulder. "It's good to have you here, Val," he said.

She nodded and opened her mouth to answer him, but she saw Hiccup blink. "Hiccup?" she said, leaning over him and pressing her hand to his cheek. "Stay still. Don't you dare move."

He squinted up at her. "Mom?" he croaked. He tried to push himself into a sitting position and fell back sharply. "Ow. Ow, Mom, it hurts."

"I know, my love, just lie still," she coaxed. "You're hurt. But it's all right. You'll be fine."

Hiccup's chest heaved and he looked around wildly. "Where's Toothless?" he demanded. "Is he okay? Toothless!"

The dragon lifted his head when he heard his name and limped over to them, pressing his chin against Hiccup's shoulder and licking his cheek. Hiccup sagged back, his breathing still ragged. "You're okay," he said, dropping a shaking hand to the top of Toothless's head. "Oh, gods, you're okay." His drooping eyes flew open. "Mom? Did we stop it? Did we stop the dragon?"

"You did," Valka said, tangling her fingers in his hair. "You did so well, Hiccup. You're so brave."

He half smiled at that, but it faded quickly as his head lolled to the side. "Mom, I'm dizzy," he mumbled.

Valka tucked her fingertips around his wrist, feeling his uneven pulse and the cool clamminess of his skin. A spike of worry shot through her heart. "You're all right, love," she lied. She slid an arm under his shoulders and lifted him gently into her arms. Hiccup leaned heavily into her shoulder, his eyes sliding shut.

Stoick knelt beside her, his hand gentle against her back. "The first ship is ready," he said. "We've got to get him back."

"Wouldn't it be faster to take him on my dragon?" she said, still keeping a close eye on her son's face. He had slipped back into unconsciousness, his lips white.

Stoick furrowed his brow. "You've got a dragon?" he asked.

"A lot's happened in fifteen years," she said.

Stoick started to say something, then stopped. "We'll talk about the dragon later," he said. "Are you sure you can manage?"

"I'm sure," she said.

Stoick gritted his teeth and looked off towards the boats lingering on the shore, then turned back. "Take him then," he said. "I'll stay here and get everyone back. You take Hiccup." He paused. "Take Astrid with you."

"Astrid?" she repeated.

Stoick paused. "Oh," he said. "The Hofferson lass. Good girl, good head on her shoulders. She'll help guide you back towards Berk. Since you're not...quite as familiar as you used to be." She nodded. Cloudjumper could bear three riders without a problem. Stoick bent and scooped up Hiccup in his arms. "Where's your dragon?"

Valka stood up, steadily ignoring the blood spatters on her clothes, and walked towards the outcropping where she'd left Cloudjumper. The Stormcutter had stayed put, but he was antsy, shifting his weight back and forth. "Easy, love," she murmured, patting his broad flat nose. "You've got some precious cargo."

He lowered his heavy head obediently as she climbed on, and leaned still lower as Stoick hefted Hiccup's limp weight into her arms. Valka pulled him close to her chest, careful of his injured leg, and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. "You've got him?" Stoick asked. She nodded, tightening her grip around his waist. Stoick gazed at her, his eyes soft, and squeezed her upper arm carefully.

"You wanted to see me, Chief?"

Valka looked down to see a slim blonde girl, Hiccup's age or a bit older, waiting a little distance away. Stoick waved her over. "Go with them back to Berk," he said. "I trust you to guide them. Get them back safe."

"Oh...okay," the girl said. "You're sure?"

Stoick nodded. "As long as you're not afraid to fly," he said.

She smoothed her hands down her ripped skirt. "I'm fine," she said. "I can do it."

Stoick hoisted her up onto Cloudjumper's back. Valka caught the girl's waist, settling her in front with Hiccup lying between them. "Get back safe," Stoick said. "I'll see you soon."

Valka smiled at him hesitantly. Stoick smiled back, the corners of his eyes crinkling up. "Soon," she mouthed back, and she squeezed Cloudjumper's sides lightly to nudge him into the air.

The dragon rose slowly and smoothly into the dimming sky. Valka cradled Hiccup closer, trying to keep him warm as he shivered. They had to get him back soon, before the shock set in too deeply.

"So...I'm Astrid, by the way," the girl said. "Astrid Hofferson."

"Oh," Valka said to the back of the girl's head. "It's...nice to meet you."

She hadn't exactly been prepared for a sudden encounter with a stranger. Being around Stoick was a shock enough, but now she was trapped on a dragon's back with a girl she'd never met before. At least...she didn't think she'd met.

"Hofferson," she repeated suddenly. "Is your mother Ingrid?"

"Uh-huh," Astrid said.

Valka smiled. "I was there for your naming ceremony," she said. "You were the loveliest baby."

"Thank you," Astrid said hesitantly. "And I guess...you're Hiccup's mom?"

Valka paused, looking down at her child's face. "Yes," she said. "I'm his mother."

The words were bittersweet. If only she'd come back to Berk sooner. This girl wouldn't have to ask if she was Hiccup's mother, she'd know. But no one in Berk knew her. And she didn't even know her own son.

"Can I ask you something?" Valka asked.

"Sure."

Valka stroked Hiccup's hair away from his face. "What's Hiccup like?"

Astrid was silent for a moment. "Smart," she said. "Not just facts-smart, but...clever." Cloudjumper shifted and she lunged forward, tightening her grip on his horns before relaxing again. "He's so stubborn it drives everyone crazy. Same with him being so clumsy. I mean, a few months ago we couldn't even let him out of the house during a raid because he would mess something up."

Valka couldn't see the expression on Astrid's face, but she could hear a smile in her voice. "But he's sweet. He's sweet and thoughtful and….well, none of us really noticed it until now." She paused. "You should be proud of him."

"I am," Valka said, and she had never meant anything more.

Hiccup shifted restlessly in her arms, making a small soft noise of discomfort, and Valka bent over him to press her cheek to his forehead. She couldn't have those years back, but she was here now. Now she could see for herself how sweet and thoughtful and clever and stubborn and smart her son was.

"There," Astrid said. "Down there, that's Berk. Wow, we got here fast."

"Dragons, dear," Valka said. "A bit faster than ships, and easier to train than waves."

Astrid laughed, but Valka's heart tightened as they circled closer to the village. Fifteen years ago this was her home and she was coming back a stranger. Maybe she shouldn't have come back at all.

Cloudjumper reached solid ground, stumbling as he touched land, and Hiccup jerked sharply in Valka's arms. "What's going- _oh,_" he choked.

"What's wrong?" Astrid demanded, turning around sharply.

Hiccup gasped for breath. "Mom, my leg hurts, it really hurts," he said, his fingers scrabbling to take hold of her sleeve.

"I know, just stay still," she said. Cloudjumper flattened himself as low to the ground as he could and she slid off his side. Hiccup clutched at her, keening into her shoulder, and then he suddenly went limp. "Hiccup?"

"Is he okay?" Astrid asked as she scrambled down after them, but her blue eyes widened as she took in the thick splint wrapped around Hiccup's leg and the sheer amount of blood. "Oh...oh my god…"

Valka adjusted Hiccup in her arms, struggling to tamp down the panic rising in her throat like bile. "Go get the healer," she said. "I'm taking him home."

Astrid hesitated. "Can you find it on your own, or-"

"I know it, just go get help," Valka said, her voice sharper than she intended, and Astrid went running down the hill.

Valka kissed Hiccup's temple. "Come on, love," she said. "You're going to be all right. You're home."

It didn't matter how long she'd been gone- she still remembered the path to her own home. Stoick had built the house before their wedding and brought her there as a new bride; she had given birth to Hiccup in this house. She'd buried her first two children here. She knew every step to the front door, as if she'd only left yesterday.

"We're home, baby," she whispered into Hiccup's hair. He was limp and heavy in her arms, but still small enough that she could carry him. "Hang on. We're home."

She nudged the door open. The house was cluttered and quiet and smelled like cedar woodsmoke, just like it always used to. She carried Hiccup into the main room and laid him down on the table, his head tilting drunkenly. The fire had died down; she stoked it again until the blaze was warm and the room was bright.

"I brought the healers!" Astrid called, running into the room. "I came as fast as I could."

She was slightly out of breath, dirt still smeared across one cheek from the battle. The healers followed her, and the elder of the two paused. "Well, Valka," Gothi said. "It's about time you returned."

"It's...it's been a long time," she said.

"Is Hiccup okay?" Astrid asked, fidgeting anxiously. "I told them his leg was bleeding. Is it broken?"

Valka hesitated. The other healer, the one she didn't recognize, moved quickly to take a better look at Hiccup, carefully removing the splint. "It's not broken, it's crushed," she said. "There's no way we can save it."

Astrid paled. "Wait...what?" she stammered. "Are you sure? Look again!" She lunged forward; Valka grabbed her around the waist to stop her. "Let me go! You said he'll be fine!"

The healers were already beginning, unpacking their vials and packets and cloths. Valka turned Astrid around before she could catch sight of the knife. "It has to be done," she said gently, squeezing Astrid's upper arms. "Better for him to learn how to live without than suffer with a leg that will never fully heal."

"But...it's not fair," Astrid whispered. She knuckled her wet eyes; a tear tracked through the dirt on her cheek, leaving a white mark. "It's not fair at all."

"I know," Valka said. "But that's the way it is for Vikings."

"Astrid," Gothi said. "Come help us." Astrid stared at Hiccup's prone form, at the blood puddling around him. "Come here, child."

Astrid took a deep breath, steeling herself, and squared her shoulders. "What do you need me to do?" she asked. The younger healer beckoned her over and she followed, her fists clenched at her sides.

"Valka, you keep your boy still," Gothi said. Valka smoothed her hands down her thighs, suddenly anxious. "Take this, have him breathe it in. Do it again if he starts to wake while we're working."

Valka took the soft cloth she offered. It smelled heavily of herbs, sweet and thick. "Don't be afraid, Hiccup," she whispered in her son's ear as she placed the cloth lightly over his mouth and nose. "I'm right here. I won't leave you."

She heard the bright ringing sound of the knife sliding across the whetstone, and suddenly she couldn't swallow. Carefully she set the cloth aside and sat down on the edge of the table, stroking Hiccup's silky hair and watching the firelight play shadows across his pale freckled face. She started humming, just as much to distract herself as to drown out the other sounds in the room.

"Steady, Astrid," she heard Gothi say. "Leave the room if you have to."

"No, I'm fine," the girl whispered.

Valka concentrated on her fingers sliding through Hiccup's hair. He was dark haired, like she was, but here and there she caught strands of red like his father. She heard the knife catch on bone and she winced, bending over her son to press her forehead to his. His breathing was slower still, and ragged, but warm against her cheek.

She couldn't tell if it took ten minutes or an hour for them to finish. All she could see was Hiccup and the rise and fall of his chest, the way she used to watch him when he was a baby asleep in the cradle. It was easier that way.

"It's done," Gothi said at last.

Valka straightened her stiff back and looked over her shoulder. Hiccup's left leg was gone from just below the knee; what remained was wrapped securely in strips of torn linen. Her stomach churned. "Is he going to be all right?" she asked.

The other healer brushed past her with a bloody bundle of rags in her arms. "He'll be fine," Gothi said. "Change the bandages twice a day and keep the stitches dry. He'll be up and about in no time."

Valka nodded. Astrid approached her, arms hugged tight around herself. "Can I go home?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course," Valka said. "Thank you. For everything."

Astrid nodded, her lower lip trembling as she tried to smile. With her bedraggled hair and dirty face she looked like the exhausted, terrified child she was, rather than a Viking shieldmaiden. She hesitated, gazing down at Hiccup's pale sleeping face, and took a tentative step towards him, one hand reaching out to brush against his shoulder, and then she turned sharply on her heel and ran out of the house, nearly mowing down Stoick in her hurry.

Stoick took a step back to let her pass. "Valka, is he...is it done?" he asked.

"He'll recover," Gothi said, patting him on his broad arm as she brushed past him. "Some rest and attention and he'll do just fine."

Stoick didn't seem to notice Valka there. He walked over to his son like a man asleep, his steps slow and heavy. Gently, more gently than Valka could have imagined, he cupped Hiccup's cheek in his hand and bent to kiss his forehead. "My boy," she heard him say quietly. "I'm so sorry, son."

Something cool and damp nudged against Valka's side. Toothless leaned against her, his snout pressing into her hand. She rubbed the top of his head. "We should get him to bed," she said softly. "He needs his rest."

Stoick nodded woodenly. "I've got him," he said. He picked Hiccup up easily and carried him out.

Valka exhaled slowly and ran her hand over Toothless's spikes. "You'd best get some sleep too," she told him. "You've had a hard day." He whuffled into her hand and shook his head before limping towards the fire and coiling up beside it like a cat.

"Valka?"

She gave Toothless a last pat on the head and headed up the stairs. Stoick had pulled back the blankets on the bed and set Hiccup down, but now he just stood there looking lost. "Valka, can you…" His voice trailed off and he sank down on the edge of the bed. "I can't do this."

Valka placed her hand tentatively on his broad shoulder. "It's not the end of the world," she said quietly.

"It feels like it, Val," Stoick said. He exhaled slowly, his shoulders sagging. "An hour ago he was a normal boy. Now…"

She stroked his shoulder gently. "Now he has both of us," she reminded him. "No matter what happens, we're here." She kissed the top of Stoick's head. He reached up for her hands, wrapping his large fingers around her slim ones. "That's what parents are there for. To let their little ones walk on their own, but stay close enough to pick them back up if they need it."

Stoick held her hands thoughtfully, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of her palms. "Does this mean you're staying?" he asked quietly.

She paused. "I...I'm honestly not sure," she confessed. "But I'm here for now. For Hiccup."

"We still have a lot to talk about," Stoick reminded her.

"I know."

He let go of her hands slowly, sliding her fingers between his, and stood up to face her. She'd forgotten exactly how tall he was. "But for right now...we just worry about Hiccup," he said. He leaned in, then paused and drew back. Her heart turned over in her chest, and before he could turn away she tugged on the neckline of his tunic till he was at her level and pressed a kiss on his lips, light and almost shy. She could feel Stoick smiling against her mouth as he kissed her back.

"Stay here, Val," he said, gazing at her with that familiar look of adoration that she hadn't seen in years. "Take care of Hiccup. I'll be right back."

She nodded. Stoick kissed her again, this time on the cheek, and strode out of the room. She sighed, rubbing her upper arms to ward off the sudden pinpricks that came out of nowhere. "Focus," she told herself.

She looked at Hiccup lying in his bed. A lump rose in her throat. The last time she tucked Hiccup into bed he was sleeping in a cradle. "Oh, my love," she said, touching his ankle lightly. "I've missed so much."

She unlatched the leather riding harness still strapped to his chest and laid it aside carefully on the floor. He'd made it himself; the metalwork was good and the stitching surprisingly even. She wondered what other things he'd made in the past fifteen years.

She carefully tugged his tunic over his head, the fabric still damp from seawater and sweat and smelling heavily of smoke. Beneath the shirt he was thin and pale, his skin peppered with freckles. He was bruised, too, in big purple and gray and navy splotches that spread out along his chest and sides. Valka traced the marks on his soft skin, her mouth pressing together.

His leggings had already been cut away from his left leg, and a few tugs loosened the side seams enough to pull them apart. The cloth was stiff and heavy with dried blood; even if they hadn't been cut off they would be too stained to try to keep.

She rummaged through the chest of drawers pushed against the wall, feeling like an intruder. Hiccup's belongings were tossed together haphazardly, his clothes mixed together with charcoal pencils and bits of paper.

Her fingers brushed something soft and she tugged it out from the bottom of the drawer. She recognized it instantly, her heart giving a huge clattering leap against her ribcage. It was the little toy dragon she'd made for Hiccup when he was just a baby, complete with his name stitched on the side. The toy was a bit battered and worse for wear, but it seemed like almost yesterday she was making the dragon bounce around the cradle to make her baby giggle.

She set the toy on top of the drawers, smiling to herself, and pulled out a set of clean clothes. Hiccup stayed limp and silent as she dressed him. She was extra careful with his heavily bandaged leg, keeping a wide berth over the fresh stitches. "There, little one," she said as she draped a blanket over him. "That's better."

She turned away to drop the dirty clothes in the pile in the corner- Hiccup's room was far from being organized and clean- but a soft sound drew her back.

"Hiccup?" she said.

He was tossing his head restlessly back and forth on the pillow. "Mm," he moaned, his eyes squinching shut.

Valka sat down beside him. "I'm here, love," she soothed, rubbing his chest lightly. "I'm right here." He didn't seem aware of her presence, still moving restlessly against the pillow. "Hiccup, it's all right, I'm here."

His chest heaved. He opened his eyes just enough for her to see the faintest sliver of green. "Mom?" he said blearily, as if he didn't quite believe she was there.

"It's me, love," she reassured him. "Lie still."

"Mom, it hurts," he whimpered, his eyes sliding shut and his mouth drawing into a thin line. "It hurts."

Valka slid her arms under his back and lifted him onto her lap. "I'm here, baby, I'm right here," she begged. She pressed her hand to the side of his head, leaning his cheek against her shoulder. "Hiccup, love, just open your eyes and look at me."

He struggled to obey, his eyes still hazy and unfocused. Valka tried to smile at him. He made a faint bleating noise, sad and soft, and she hugged him tightly. "Please don't cry, Hiccup," she whispered. "I'm so sorry you got hurt. I'm so sorry about your leg. I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm sorry…"

Her voice trailed off. She wondered how many other nights Hiccup went to sleep in this bed wishing she was there, if he woke up from nightmares calling for her, if he had ever been sick or scared or hurt and needed her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

She held him to her heart like he was still the baby she left behind. Hot tears dripped down her cheeks and soaked her sleeves and his hair, without her truly realizing that she was crying.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed as she rocked him gently, pressing kisses to his hair and cheeks and temples. She kept repeating it, her arms tight around her son, until she had cried herself empty. He was asleep by the time she had composed herself, his lips softly parted. Valka laid him back down on the bed and pulled the blanket around him, swiping furtively at her wet face.

"Give him this," Stoick said gently, handing her a heavy blanket.

"I hadn't even heard you come in," she said, pretending she hadn't been crying. She started to unfold it, but realized it was a thick plush velvet with a soft lining. "Stoick, this is-"

"The cloak I got you as a wedding present," Stoick smiled. He took it from her hands and draped it around Hiccup, tucking him in snugly. "He's always cold, you know. No muscle on those bird bones of his."

"He got that from me," Valka tried to joke, but her voice came out thick and wet.

"When he was small he had night terrors," Stoick said quietly. "Not nightmares. More than that. He'd scream and cry and there'd be nothing I could do to calm him down. Except for this." He tapped the fabric of the cloak lightly. "I'd wrap him up in this and he'd go right back to sleep."

Valka traced the soft curve of Hiccup's nose. "I should have come back, Stoick," she said. "No matter what, I should have come back, at least for him."

Stoick squeezed her shoulders. "There's no changing the past, love," he said. Valka closed her eyes as Stoick kissed the top of her head. "But for now...d'you want to come and sit with me for a bit?"

And Valka did.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Hoo boy. Feelings. A lot of feelings.

I've always wondered what happened between the battle with the Red Death and Hiccup waking up. The script specifies he woke up a week or so later, so a LOT must have happened. And it must have been pretty traumatic.

They also didn't specify exactly how Hiccup was injured enough to warrant the loss of his leg. But it would have to be a lot. Like _a lot. _

(I'm actually also working on a canon oneshot about that, from Stoick's point of view, if anyone wants to see it.)

(I've also been sucked into all that wonderful nonsense that is Rise of the Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons, and I've started drabbling for that. Mostly I'm obsessed with the idea of Hiccup being Anna and Elsa's baby cousin. He and Elsa are especially close. She's like a surrogate mom to him, and it's adorable.)

In any case, thank you so much for the feedback you've given for the first part! I'm off to work on part 3, so if you have thoughts or questions or just want to say hi, please leave a review! Or just leave a review in general, they are so very much appreciated. Like you. I appreciate you. You have a lovely face. Let's be friends.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: How to Train Your Dragon belongs to Dreamworks, not me.

* * *

Hiccup slept for a week.

Valka tried not to hover, but she found herself constantly wandering back into his room to check on him- tucking him back in when he tossed and turned, checking the bandages to see how his stitches were healing, staying as still as possible so she could double and triple check that yes, his chest was still rising and falling in steady breaths.

At first she tried to keep it a secret, but she kept catching Stoick doing the same thing, standing at Hiccup's bedside and watching him carefully for any signs that he might wake up. Then she tried to pretend that she hadn't noticed him, but Stoick finally just sighed and suggested they have him sleep in the main room, where they could both watch him to their hearts' content.

The only member of the household that didn't try to conceal their feelings was Toothless. On the first morning, when Valka went to Hiccup's room to check on him, she found the door dangling off its hinges and the dragon curled up on the edge of the bed like an overly large dog. Stoick tried to shoo him away, but Toothless bared his gums and shook his head and dropped his chin on Hiccup's thigh with an expression that said _like hell you're making me leave my little human._

So the dragon stayed in the house, watching Hiccup like a hawk. "It's not normal for a dragon to choose to stay cooped up," Valka kept telling Stoick, who just humphed gruffly at her. He kept pretending like he didn't see Toothless, and when he did he was scolding him, but on more than one occasion Valka saw him gingerly stroking the top of the dragon's head, or sneaking him a fish when he thought she wasn't looking.

They fell into an uneasy peace. In so many ways they fell back into the routines they followed fifteen years ago. But now all they could do was wait for Hiccup to wake up before they could truly start their lives over.

Hiccup woke up a few times, never longer than ten minutes, and never lucid. The first time it happened, Valka nearly had a heart attack. He bolted upright, looked right at her, and mumbled something.

"Hiccup?" she said, jumping in surprise.

"Mmph...mrrmph," he mumbled, his shoulders raising and lowering.

"Hiccup, are you awake?" she asked.

He made a noise that she couldn't understand. She reached for the cup on the table and sat down beside Hiccup. "Sweetheart," Valka said, tilting his chin so she could look into his eyes. "Are you awake?"

He screwed up his face and mumbled something that sounded like "thirsty." Valka smiled and tipped the cup of water against his lips, cupping her hand against the back of his neck. Hiccup drank thirstily, water dripping down his chin. "Not so fast, love, you'll choke," she chided gently.

He smacked his lips sleepily, his head already drooping. Valka set the empty cup aside and wiped the water from his lips with the hem of her skirt. "Back to sleep then, is it?" she smiled. She kissed the top of his head. "You just keep resting, lovey."

She helped him lie back down, tucking the blanket and cloak around him snugly. He was fast asleep again before his head even touched the pillow.

He woke up like that a few times during that week, sitting up long enough for her to coax him into drinking some water or eating a little bit of soup, but nothing he said ever made sense and he never seemed to quite recognize her. She tried not to feel upset about it. She just waited.

The other kids waited too. At least once a day one of them knocked on the door, hesitant and deferential. "Um, hi...is Hiccup awake yet?" they would ask. Every day she would have to turn them away. She finally grew so sorry for them that she gave them an impromptu lesson on their dragons, teaching them the things she'd learned. They were a rowdy bunch, all rough around the edges, but good underneath all their bluster.

They called her "Lady," which gave her a small heart attack every time she had heard it. She'd forgotten. Stoick was Chief, and as his wife she was Lady. Hearing it come out of their mouths, respectful and affectionate at the same time, made her heart ache.

The only child she allowed inside was Astrid. It was clear that she was the leader of the ragtag little bunch; she was bright and unafraid of taking charge and fiercely headstrong. But she seemed to have a soft spot for Hiccup, hidden far behind all that stubborn logic and ax-wielding power. Valka tried to give her space when she went in to see Hiccup. Astrid didn't linger long. She sat beside Hiccup for a little while, watching his sleeping face, before leaning over to whisper something in his ear. When she left she offered a shy smile and a quiet thank you to Valka, but all Valka really wanted to know was what she had whispered.

On the fourth day Gobber came by, walking into the house as if it had never occurred to him to knock. "I know it's a bit early, but I brought this," he said.

Stoick took the bundle he offered. "A prosthetic?" he said, examining it closely.

Gobber shrugged. "I'm sure he'll want to make his own, but I thought this would do for now," he said. "Easier to wake up with it already there. Learned that from experience."

Valka let the men talk. She sat beside Hiccup instead, stroking the soft skin of his inner wrist. She didn't even look up when Gobber left and Stoick walked in with the prosthetic leg. "I didn't want this for him," she said in a low voice as Stoick pulled back the blankets.

"I know, love," he said quietly. His hands were gentle as he tied on the makeshift limb. "But it's all we can do."

She waited patiently for Hiccup to wake up, but in the end she wasn't even there.

She'd gone outside for just a moment, long enough to draw more water from the village well. When she came back, her son was standing outside, leaning heavily on Toothless's support and gazing around in disbelief. Stoick had his broad arm around his shoulder. "Am I dead?" Hiccup said.

"No, but you gave it your best shot," Stoick said. He laughed as he said it, but Valka could see his arm tighten protectively around Hiccup's thin shoulders. She set down the water bucket and took a step towards them, but a slim blonde stormed past her and got there first.

"Hey!" Astrid said, punching him sharply in the arm. Hiccup winced, ducking his head. "That's for scaring me."

"What, is it always going to be like this?" Hiccup protested. "Because I-" Astrid grabbed him by the neckline of his tunic and yanked him close to press a kiss on his cheek. Hiccup's mouth dropped open. "I could get used to this."

Toothless bounded around him, finally perked up and energetic now that his boy was awake. "Do you want to fly for a bit, bud?" Hiccup asked, rubbing Toothless behind an ear ridge. He glanced at Astrid. "You want to come too?"

"Only always," Astrid said. "Think you can keep up?"

Hiccup grinned. "I'm pretty sure I can manage," he said.

Despite his words, Valka saw him hesitate before settling down on the saddle. His new prosthetic clicked into place in the stirrup, and she saw the relief on his face. He might be newly crippled on land, but in the air he was still in one piece.

She couldn't help but wonder, though, as he took off into the bright skies, that he might be pushing himself a little too far. He'd been asleep for nearly seven days, after all, drinking little and eating less. And the wound on his leg was still raw. It might be too much for him.

"Stoick," she whispered as she sidled up to her husband. "Shouldn't we tell him to stay at home for now?"

Stoick watched his son and his dragon climb into the sky, fading smaller and smaller. "Hm," he said. "He should be all right."

He didn't sound entirely sure of himself, though, and Valka wondered how many times he'd accidentally let Hiccup get away with things he never should have done in the first place.

She ended up sitting at the threshold of the house, waiting for him to come home. Stoick was off working in the village, and he offered for her to come with him- to give her advice, of all things, that was a phrase she'd never expected to hear- but she was too distracted. She wanted her quiet. She wanted to think.

The sun was beginning to set when Hiccup finally landed. He was laughing, cracking jokes with his friends. Valka smiled to herself as she watched him.

The other teenagers left, taking their dragons with them, and Hiccup stayed, still sitting on Toothless's back and petting his neck gently. "Hey, Mom?" he finally called.

Valka stood up. "What's wrong, love?" she asked.

"Can you give me a hand?" Hiccup said. "I'm, uh….not sure if I can get down." He hesitated, screwing up his face. "And...I think I might be bleeding."

Valka was up in an instant. Hiccup leaned heavily on the pommel of the saddle, trying to take the pressure off his bad leg. "How long have you been hurting?" she asked, reaching down to unlatch the prosthetic from the modified stirrup.

"I honestly didn't feel it while I was flying," Hiccup said, wincing as he slid off Toothless's side and rested all of his weight on his right leg. "I mean, when I'm up there...I even kind of forgot for a while that I- _ah!_"

He stumbled as he swung his left leg over the saddle. Valka caught him under his arms. "Slowly, Hiccup, slowly," she scolded.

"I don't really do 'slowly'," he said. He was grinning, but his lips were white. "Can I go...lie down for a while, maybe?"

Valka caught sight of the blood slowly seeping around the top of his prosthetic. "Mm-hm," she said, distracted, as she slid an arm around his waist. He leaned heavily on her support as she helped him into the house. Toothless followed closely, nudging at Hiccup's hip to keep him from tilting too far to the side.

"Sit," Valka ordered, pushing him towards his bed. "Sit down right now and don't move."

Hiccup blinked, startled at her sudden fierceness. "Yes, uh...yes, ma'am," he said, hobbling across the room.

Toothless cocked his head and warbled at Valka. "Don't give me that look, I'm angry at you too," she said. She sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully pried off the new prosthetic. The skin around his knee was rubbed raw and badly blistered. "You've popped some of your stitches, that's why you're bleeding."

Hiccup jumped, grabbing the side of the bed and yelping, as she pressed a damp cloth against his torn skin. "Ow! Mom, ow!" he complained, his fingers scrabbling against the headboard.

"Yes, it's going to hurt," she said, not looking up at him as she wiped away the blood. "How could you be so foolish, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III?"

He gulped audibly.

"You nearly died a week ago, Hiccup," she said sharply. "You're in no condition to go flying around. You should know better."

"Yes, ma'am," he said sheepishly.

"You are grounded, young man," she said. Now that he was a bit cleaned up, she could see that the damage wasn't as bad as she thought. But her heart was still racing just a bit too fast from the panic he'd put her in. "No flying. For at least a week. Maybe longer. If Toothless needs to fly, then _I _will take him. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said again. He hung his head, still sheepish, but if she wasn't mistaken, there was the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

"You are going to rest," she said. "Whether you like it or not. You need time to heal properly, and running around and flying isn't going to help that at all. You hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am," he repeated.

He was definitely smiling as he looked down at at the floor, a lopsided little grin. Valka tilted his chin so he was looking her in the eyes. "And what exactly are you smiling about?" she demanded.

"Well, Hiccup said, trying to evade her gaze but still looking up at her meekly from under his eyelashes. "I've never been yelled at by my mom before."

Valka's shoulders sagged. "Oh, you foolish boy," she said. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and bent to kiss the top of his head. "You foolish little love."

"Does that mean I'm off the hook?" he asked eagerly. Valka flicked the side of his nose with her forefinger. "Ow! I'll take that as a no."

"Definitely still a no," she said. She sat down on the edge of the bed, taking stock of the state of his leg. "I need to fix your stitches."

Hiccup faltered. "Oh," he said. He sighed deeply. "Well, it's not like the first time I've stitches, so...have at it, I guess."

Valka took the sewing kit down from the shelf and opened it up. "When have you had stitches before?" she asked.

"Oh, well, let's see," Hiccup said, scratching the back of his neck. "A couple of times. Um...there's this one." He held out his hand, showing her a thin scar along the side of his index finger. "My first day in the forge. I was six. I just really wanted to touch everything. Oh, and this." He pushed up his sleeve. "That was in the forge...last month." He rolled his sleeve back down. "There's a couple other scars. Mostly from climbing trees, or falling on ice. Not really any manly battle induced scars like Vikings ought to have."

Valka threaded the needle. "Well, you don't need any more," she said firmly. "Now sit very still for me. And think of something to distract yourself."

Hiccup breathed out slowly, watching her draw the needle back. "Mom?" he said. "Can you tell me about when I was born?"

She nearly dropped the needle. "What?" she said, fumbling for the thread. "Why on earth would you want to know about that?"

"Because Dad's only kind of told me about stuff when I was little, and there's a lot of stuff I don't know, and come on, it'll be really distracting," Hiccup pleaded. "I'm getting stitches here."

Valka sighed. "All right," she said. "Hold still." She set the needle at his soft skin. "You were born early. You should have been a spring baby, but you born in the winter." Hiccup hissed through his teeth at the first pinprick. "Your father was away on a raid. I was the only one home, and I was afraid he wouldn't make it back in time before you were born. But I was in labor for three days. You wanted to do things on your terms."

"Dad would probably say that not much has changed," Hiccup said. Valka smiled as she took a careful stitch. "He made it back in time, though. He told me that much."

She kept her eyes on her work. "We both very nearly died," she said quietly. "I'd lost so much blood, and you were so tiny. So frail, and fragile. And you came down with a fever when you were a week old. I thought I'd already lost you."

Hiccup faltered. "Dad...didn't tell me that part," he said.

Valka paused in her stitching long enough to smooth the pad of her thumb over his kneecap. She could picture it like it was yesterday, the way her baby fussed so fretfully in the cradle of her arms, the feel of his hot soft skin under her touch, how he couldn't cry but only whimper. "Your father never doubted you," she said. "He kept telling me that you were strong, and that you would grow up to be the strongest of them all." She snipped the thread and bent to kiss his knee, just above the new line of stitches. "And he was right."

Hiccup leaned in close to her before she could move away. "What was I like when I was a baby?" he asked. "Like...did I cry a lot? Did you have a nickname for me? What was my first word?"

"Oh, love...I wasn't there for that," she said. His face fell. She drew him closer to her side, as if she could make things better that way. "You were only six months old when I was taken. You had just started to sit up on your own; you weren't even close to talking yet."

"Oh," Hiccup said. "Well, I guess...my first word will just be a mystery then."

"It wasn't a word, son, it was a full sentence."

Valka glanced up to see Stoick standing in the doorway, smiling down at them. "He was the last one of the babies born that year to learn to talk," he said. "The Hofferson girl could talk a mile a minute, those twins could jabber at each other even if no one else knew what they were saying...even Snotlout could say half a dozen words before this one said a thing."

"Oh, come on, I couldn't have been that bad," Hiccup said, nestling closer to Valka's side and grinning up at his father. Valka smoothed his hair.

"You were!" Stoick insisted. He pulled up a chair and sat down across from them. "You could make sounds, and you had different sounds for different things, but words? Not a one. Until one day, when you were nearly two, I took you with me to the kill ring. Gobber was showing me some new cages, and you- you took your chubby little hand out of your mouth, pointed at the Terrible Terrors, and said 'can I hugs that?'"

"There's no way that happened," Hiccup scoffed.

"But you did!" Stoick said. "I was so startled I nearly dropped you!" Valka shot him a sharp look, an eyebrow quirked while she tried to hide a smile. "I didn't, though. I, uh...never dropped you when you were a baby. Not once." He cleared his throat. "But after that, no one could get you to stop talking. Especially when you discovered the word 'why'. You had questions for everything, always had to know how everything worked."

Hiccup laughed; Valka felt his sides move. Her arms curled around him involuntarily. For so long her son had been a distant thought, a faint memory of a happy baby and the faceless spector of a stranger she would never know. She sighed deeply and tugged him closer. "What about when I started walking?" Hiccup asked. "Please tell me I at least walked before Astrid."

"Afraid not," Stoick said. Hiccup rolled his eyes and wriggled around on the bed until he was lying down comfortably with his head on Valka's lap and his arms around her knees. Valka stroked his hair. "But you at least beat Fishlegs and Snotlout. It was a council meeting; I had to bring you with me since no one could watch you. And all of a sudden you pulled yourself up on my knee and took a step. And then-" Stoick snapped his fingers. "Just like that, you were running around everywhere. Not a moment's peace! You were exhausting. Couldn't take my eyes off you for a second."

"Tell Mom about the time I fell out of the tree," Hiccup suggested, cuddling closer to Valka.

"Which time?"

"You know, the time when I was five. When I got stuck."

"Which time when you were five and got stuck?"

"You know, the time with the sheep."

Stoick threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, that one," he said. "Well, you weren't five yet. Nearly five. Still the smallest of your age in Berk."

"I'm still the smallest of my age in Berk," Hiccup pointed out.

"Well, there was that one ram, the biggest one on the island, and you managed to make it angry-"

"I wanted to see if its horns came off!"

"-and it chased you straight up a tree. But you couldn't get down, because you were up higher than you'd ever gone before, and the ram was waiting for you at the bottom," Stoick said. "And Gobber and I were out looking for you, but we didn't think to look for you in the trees."

"You should have, I went climbing-" Hiccup paused to yawn, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. "I went climbing at least once a day."

"Yes, well, we didn't think of it," Stoick said. "We finally found you sitting up there, and we herded the ram away from you, but when we told you to get down, you decided to jump instead."

"I didn't think the ground was that far away," Hiccup mumbled.

"You should have seen him, Valka," Stoick said. "He jumped straight down, landed right on his nose. Blood everywhere. He didn't even cry, though. He just sat there, completely bewildered as to how he got on the ground, blood gushing down his face."

Valka shook her head. "Oh, you silly boy," she said, looking down at Hiccup. She paused.

"It's not nearly as bad as the time you broke your wrist though," Stoick countered.

"Stoick..."

"I still don't know how you managed it!"

"Stoick."

"I mean, it takes talent to break your wrist just by throwing a spear! I guess you weren't ready, though, you were only seven and it was twice your size-"

"Stoick!" Valka whispered loudly.

"What?" he said.

She smiled. "He fell asleep," she said.

Stoick stopped. "Well, then," he said, smiling. "Look at that."

Valka smoothed Hiccup's hair away from his face. He was deeply asleep already, his lips parted and his thin chest rising and falling slowly. Valka pried his arms gently from her knees and slid off the bed before laying him back down and tucking him in securely.

"He takes after you, you know," Stoick said quietly. "So many times I've looked at him and seen you instead. Same eyes, same chin…"

"Your nose," she reminded him.

"True," he said. "But even more than just looks, Val. He's got your smarts, your creativity. Your kindness." He squeezed her shoulder, his grip soft and warm. "We did good with this one."

"No, you did good," she corrected. "I gave birth to him, and I left."

Stoick slid his hand down her arm and wrapped his fingers around her slim ones. "It's not as black and white as that, Valka," he said, leading her to the other side of the room from their sleeping son. "It's not like you chose to leave."

"I didn't, Stoick, but I chose to stay," she said desperately. "I should have come back. You needed me. Hiccup needed me. But I made my choice."

Stoick fell silent, looking her directly in the eyes. She resisted the urge to run, to squirm out of his grasp. "Why didn't you come back, Valka?" he asked.

This was it. That was what she had been dreading.

She started to speak, stopped, started again.

"When I first came to the nest," she said, her mouth dry, "I was terrified. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know if they meant to hurt me." Stoick smoothed his thumb gently over the back of her hand. "I stayed as hidden as possible. I didn't have the faintest clue of how to get back home. But the dragons…" Her voice trailed off. "They didn't mean me any harm. They truly did. Cloudjumper in particular. He was the one that took me, remember...and he's my dragon now. I think he mistook your shouting as you threatening me, and he thought he was saving me." She looked down at the floor, biting back a rueful smile. "I think he realized that he had taken me away from my baby, because he kept bringing me hatchlings and dropping them in my lap, as a replacement."

She didn't know how to keep going. Stoick stayed silent, his hand gentle on hers, his gaze thoughtful. He was listening to her. Somehow, in all the times she'd imagined having this talk with her husband, she never pictured this reaction.

"I realized they needed me," she said quietly. "This nest was where they sent all the misfits- the sick, the injured, the runts of the litter. I started caring for them. When I learned how to fly on Cloudjumper, I started to rescue them myself. I took care of them. They were mine, I was their protector. I found my place, in a way that I never felt here." She let out a shuddering sigh. "I was a terrible chief's wife, Stoick. I was never good at taking the offense in raids, I wasn't good at talking to people, I wasn't...I wasn't able to give you the household of heirs you deserved-"

"Hey, now," he interrupted, cupping her chin in his hand. "Valka, don't you dare. You are so much more than that. And don't you think for a second it was your fault that you lost those babies."

"Hiccup shouldn't be the only child in this house, Stoick, he should be the youngest!" Valka burst out. "If everything had gone the way they ought, you'd have have five children running around this house, and Hiccup would have been strong and healthy. He'd have had the mother he always deserved. I'd be the sort of lady this village expected, I'd be the sort of wife you'd be proud of, not a-"

"Valka, Valka, don't," Stoick begged. "My love, please." He kissed her forehead. "Please don't do this." He kissed her again; his grip was strong and secure on her hand. "There is not a thing wrong with you. Not a thing. Not before you left, and not now." He leaned back on his heels, studying her expression. "I didn't marry you to have a vessel for sons. I didn't marry you to have the ideal chief's wife. I married you because I _loved _you, Valka. And I love you still."

She bit her lower lip hard enough to bleed, trying to still the trembling in her shoulders. He looked away for a moment, searching for the right words. "And...I can understand why you were reluctant to come back," he said at last. "If you'd come back...dammit, if you'd come back a week earlier I wouldn't have been able to see things the way you do. But now, I can see it. I can, Valka." He squeezed her hand. "And you know how that happened?"

"How?" she asked, her voice thick. She dashed at her eyes with the back of her forearm.

"Our son," Stoick said. "Hiccup saw the very things you did in his own dragon. And because he has all of your kindness, your passion, your intelligence, he was able to train him. To earn his loyalty." He grinned, his eyes hopeful. "And because he's got my stubbornness, he fought back. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for him. And he wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you."

Valka choked, pressing her hand over her mouth. "Love, we can't change the past," Stoick said gently. "I can't go back and be a different man. You can't go back and make a different choice. No one knows if a different path would turn out for the better or worse. But we're here now, and we can go forward. And we can do it together, if you'd like."

"Oh, Stoick," she whispered. "I don't know. I just don't know."

He kissed her forehead again. "There's time enough to think, Val," he said. "Take the time you need. If you need to go, then you go. But...just don't forget that there are always people here in Berk who miss you."

He kissed her on the cheek, but she turned to press her lips against his, his beard scratching lightly against her skin. He kissed her back, warmly and deeply, and straightened. "I'll be back in a bit," he said. "Keep an eye on Hiccup. Don't worry about the dragons, I'll feed them."

"All right," she said, smiling at him. Her chest ached, but there was something warm fluttering beneath her breastbone. He took up his cloak and flashed one last smile at her before he walked out the door.

"Hold on, you beasties, I'll feed you in a bit," she heard his booming voice say, a hint of a laugh in the words. She could hear Cloudjumper and Toothless bouncing and yelping. She never thought that would ever happen.

She wandered around the house for a while, touching things here and there, familiarizing herself with her home all over again. Memories came back, from the notch on the doorframe from Stoick banging into it with his sword at his hip, from the chipped plate she'd broken the first time she'd made dinner for him after their wedding, from the way the house smelled like cedar woodsmoke. She wandered around Hiccup's room and found herself clutching the toy dragon she made for him. It was battered and dirty, and the stitches of his name were coming loose along the sides, but she remembered making it for him, remembered the joy on his little face when she handed it to him, and she hugged it to her chest, burying her face in the worn out fabric.

She went back downstairs, the toy dragon still tucked in the crook of her arm, but a sudden noise stopped her in her tracks. "Hiccup?" she called softly.

Hiccup jerked sharply, his arms flailing against the bed, and whined through his teeth. Valka sat down beside him and dropped the toy on the bed. "Hiccup, you're all right," she said.

"Falling," he rasped, his eyes barely open as he struggled to wake himself up. "'m falling, Toothless, 'm falling…"

He gasped for breath, fighting valiantly to wake himself up, and without thinking Valka grabbed his arms and yanked him onto her lap. She'd fallen from Cloudjumper before, she knew what it was like- that horrifying moment when you're so sure you'll never survive, when the ground is rushing up closer and and closer. She'd woken up from nightmares like that a million times in her early flying days. And she'd be damned before she let her son wake up from that alone.

"I'm here, baby, I'm here," she said, wrapping her old cloak around him tightly. "You're safe. You're not falling. I've got you." He whimpered into her shoulder, still not fully awake, and she ran her hand up and down his thin back. "I'm here."

He sucked in a deep breath and yelped, his eyes finally opening all the way. "Am I falling?" he begged, his hands scrabbling to take hold of her sleeves.

"No, my love, not anymore," Valka said.

He clutched her arms so tightly his knuckles turned white. "But I was falling," he protested. "I fell off Toothless's back, and I was falling, and that dragon was after me-"

Valka shushed him gently, pressing her cheek to the top of his head. "That happened," she told him softly. "But it's in the past now. Don't let it haunt you, lovey."

He locked his arms around her neck, hiding his face in the crook of her shoulder. "I can't tell what was a dream and what really happened," he whispered. "I dreamed...I lost my leg. Is...is that real? Or was it a dream?"

Valka closed her eyes. "Real," she said quietly.

Hiccup was silent for a long time, long enough that she wondered if he'd fallen back asleep. But something hot and wet dripped against the collar of her dress. Valka pressed a kiss to his hair. "I'm not ready for it, Mom," he sobbed. "I want to go back. I want things to be different."

She swallowed against the bitter lump in her throat. She had never imagined how much it would hurt to see her child hurting, to hear him crying, and know there was nothing she could do.

"I know you want things to be different," she said at last. "And they can't be. All you can do, my love...is keep going."

He nodded, still choking back stifled sobs, and Valka pressed kisses to his forehead, his temple, his cheeks. She shifted Hiccup's weight on her lap and something rolled against her. She glanced down and smiled. "Look," she said, picking up the toy. "Look what I found."

Hiccup raised his head. His eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks were wet. "Oh," he said. "You made that for me."

"You loved it so much," she said. "I remember when you were a baby, you used to laugh so hard when I made it move."

"Yeah, and then-" He paused to wipe his nose with the back of his sleeve. "Then I got scared of it."

She looked at the floppy little toy. "You were scared of it?" she said.

"Uh-huh," he said. The last vestige of a sob caught in his throat and he let out a heavy sigh. "I threw it in the ocean when I was three. But Dad found it, got it back for me. And...I don't think I'm scared of it anymore." He took it, smiling wetly, and sniffled hard. "Yeah, definitely not scared."

"You're a brave boy, Hiccup," she said. She tangled her fingers in his hair, smoothing the shaggy ends. "Clever and kind and brave."

He smiled at that, a real smile this time, and leaned his head on her shoulder again, this time with his childhood toy hugged to his chest. Valka held him in her arms until he drifted off to sleep again- a peaceful sleep this time, without nightmares. She held him close even when he was a dead weight on her lap and her arms fell asleep and prickled at the elbows.

"I'm going to be as brave as you, Hiccup," she said, smiling at her son's peaceful face. "I promise."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I DID IT I WROTE A THING AND I FINISHED IT.

First of all, credit for deviations and baby!Hiccup headcanons go to avannak on tumblr, who is lovely and wonderful and let me borrow her thoughts. And special thanks go to faeblossom and allieisrandom, also of tumblr, who let me constantly post my overwhelming mama!Valka feels in their inboxes.

I've had a really rough year, y'all, and writing has honestly been the last thing on my mind. Getting the spark for this has made me so happy. And it's still going! I have so many things I want to explore in this fandom, and I've even drabbled in Rise of the Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons that may or may not make its way here.

Please feel free to leave any thoughts you have, and if you have any prompts you'd like to give, I may very well try my hand at the filling them! My tumblr is themetaphorgirl, and I love talking to people over there. :)


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